


A Bit Of Rough

by malfoys_minx



Series: The Rough With The Smooth [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Recovering, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Rough Sex, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoys_minx/pseuds/malfoys_minx
Summary: When Steve's search for Bucky turns up yet another dead end, he winds up licking his wounds in a familiarly named bar. The last thing he's expecting, however, is for the bar to turn up Bucky. A Bucky who, despite everything, turns out not to be so different from the man Steve had once known.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: The Rough With The Smooth [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636051
Comments: 6
Kudos: 159





	A Bit Of Rough

**Author's Note:**

> This is a post-CA:TWS sequel to [Anything You Want](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755208)

Steve stared down at the scratched surface of the bar, nursing his beer and wondering, not for the first time, what the hell he was still doing there. He'd regretted his decision as soon as he'd walked through the damn door, but he was nothing if not stubborn and once he'd committed to his course of action he'd been stupidly determined to see it through. One beer, he'd promised himself. One beer and then he'd go home to lick his wounds in private. 

Of course, that's what he _should_ have done in the first place, but no, he just had to stick to his ridiculous non-plan, even though the last thing he wanted right now was company. He'd already lost count of the number of men who had sidled up to him, sizing him up from beneath hooded eyes before sitting down beside him, as if he wasn't projecting 'fuck off' vibes with every muscle in his body. He wasn't here for sex. He wasn't here for booze either and in all honesty he didn't know _why_ the fuck he was here. Why he'd felt the need to walk into the damn building in the first place. 

He was tired, so fucking _exhausted_ , weighed down by a bone deep weariness that had nothing to do with the hours he'd spent wandering aimlessly before he'd stumbled across this particular hell hole. Not that there was anything wrong with the bar itself, just the clientele who couldn't read perfectly clear body language. He scowled to himself as he felt the stool next to him shift _again_ as someone sat down beside him, far too close for comfort. 

"So what's a fine fella like you doing in a place like this?"

Which to be fair was a damn good question. He should be at home, glaring at his own damn table and drinking his own ineffectual beer. At least there he'd have been left alone with his thoughts, but no. Instead he'd let his feet bring him here, to what little was left of the neighbourhood that he'd grown up in, out of some pathetic, desperate attempt to feel close to Bucky, just for a moment. When he'd turned a corner to find himself face to face with a rainbow flag bedecked building proudly declaring itself as 'Jack's', he'd been through the door before he'd even thought to stop himself.

It had been almost inevitable really. Any other day he'd have walked straight by without a thought, but not today. Not after yet another trail had gone cold, leaving him standing in an abandoned room on the other side of the city, knowing Bucky had been right _there_ , but now that Steve had found him, he would never set foot in the place again. He'd start the search afresh in the morning, of course, the same as always. After all, if he was too stubborn to leave a damn bar, he was certainly far too fucking stubborn to give up on Bucky Barnes, no matter how ludicrous his dream of bringing him home might be. Tomorrow he would begin again, start scouring the web for the barest trace of his oldest friend, but for now, just for one night, he wanted to feel sorry for himself in peace. 

" _Trying_ to have a quiet drink." He told the man next to him, taking a swig of his beer without bothering to look round.

"I can be quiet if you want me to be... Although with you I know I'd be _loud_."

Scowling, Steve thumped his beer down hard enough that it slopped over the side of the glass, before turning to face the jerk who apparently couldn't take no for an answer. His mouth was already open on a sharp retort when his eyes landed on the man's face and the words he'd meant to say died in his throat, his heart all but stopping completely at the sight in front of him.

"Bucky?" He choked, voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Thought you promised you'd never come back here." Bucky teased lightly, as if this was perfectly normal. As if it was still 1940 and they were just two friends sharing a drink. As if the other man hadn't been running from him for over a year.

When Steve did nothing but stare, rendered completely speechless by the whole situation, Bucky finally looked away with a half-smile, his eyes flitting casually around the bar.

"I guess it doesn't really count, does it?"

Steve just shook his head, still too shocked to form the words to defend himself, though he knew he hadn't actually broken his promise. The coincidence was uncanny, but this was not the bar he'd once frequented, the one he'd sworn never to set foot in again. For one thing _that_ Jack's had shut down for good after one violent raid too many back in 1941 and _this_ Jack's was a fair few blocks north of where the original bar had been situated. It was also, thankfully, far less dangerous these days. Not that any of that stopped him feeling like he'd betrayed Bucky somehow.

"I wasn't going to do anything." He said finally. 

"You don't owe me an explanation, you're free to do what you want."

"No." Steve disagreed and the other man shot him a sharp look. "I haven't been free to do _that_ since that day in our apartment." He continued, watching as something in Bucky's face softened at his words.

"You didn't need to stay faithful to a machine."

"I stayed faithful to a dead man, I sure as hell wasn't going to do anything once I found out you were alive." He hesitated, but Bucky didn't say anything else and Steve couldn't help adding quietly. "I've been looking for you. I haven't stopped since I got out of hospital last year."

"I know." His friend frowned a little. "You got pretty close a few times."

"You knew it was me?"

Bucky nodded and Steve had to take a second before he could say anything more. He'd always thought it was simply a combination of bad luck and the knowledge that he likely wasn't the only one following the Soldier's trail. It had made perfect sense that the slightest indication someone was on to him would have sent his friend running, but the fact that he'd _known_ it was Steve and yet he'd run anyway...

"And you still left." It wasn't a question, but the other man answered him anyway. 

"I needed time."

"I'd have given you time. I'd have given you any damn thing you wanted, I just needed to know you were ok." The bitterness in his own voice surprised him a little, but he supposed Bucky could hardly blame him for it.

"I know, I just..." The other man sighed, looking down at the bar rather than meeting Steve's eyes. "I didn't know if I could stay away if I saw you and I wasn't ready for that."

"So what changed?" He pressed. "Why here? Why now?"

"You came close earlier. Really fucking close. I only made it out about 30 seconds before you burst through the door."

"But you ran anyway..." He pointed out, trying not to sound as hurt as he felt, but not sure he'd quite managed it. 

"Not far. I was watching from the building opposite, I saw your face when you realised I wasn't there any more..." Bucky's expression turned haunted as he stared down at his hands, one flesh and one metal, twisted tightly together on the bar in front of him. "I followed you when you left, I don't know why. Needed to know you were ok, I guess."

"I'm fine." He snapped before he could stop himself. "Sorry, I'm just..."

"I know." Bucky assured him and Steve figured he probably did. His friend had always known him better than he knew himself.

"So why did you follow me inside?" He asked when he trusted himself to speak again. "I didn't know you were there, you could still have run." 

"I meant to. I told myself I'd just check you got home ok and then I'd go, but then you walked in here and I remembered..." Bucky shook his head despairingly. "I remembered the kind of place Jack's was back then, remembered that you used to _go_ there, and seeing you _here_ , now... It scared me all over again and I couldn't leave you. Not without knowing for sure that you were ok."

"Things have changed a lot since then." He comforted, even as he tried desperately to tamp down on the spark of hope that flared brighter and brighter with every word the other man said, with every hint that he still cared. 

"I know, but fuck Steve, you don't know what it did to me when you told me you used to go to that hell hole..."

"I should never have told you like that."

"You think I cared how you told me?" Bucky's tone was incredulous as he finally met Steve's gaze head on. "I knew you were angry, knew you were scared and I never cared how much of that you took out on me. I _cared_ that you were risking your damn life for it. I cared that I could have lost you."

 _I could have lost you._ The words hit him so hard that for a moment he lost track of everything else. Bucky could have lost him, he could have, but he didn't. Steve though... Steve had lost Bucky. He'd lost him in 1945, had all but lost him again the previous year and he couldn't do it again, he _couldn't_. 

"Come home with me." He begged roughly. "Please, I can't lose you again, _please_." 

"Alright." 

Steve had already opened his mouth to continue pleading his case before Bucky's acquiescence filtered through to his brain and then his mouth simply remained hanging open in shock. 

"Alright?" He echoed finally, his voice faint. 

"Alright." Bucky repeated, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I'll come home with you." He nodded towards Steve's glass. "You done?" 

"Yes." He was already on his feet before the word was fully out. 

"Then how about you show me what you used to get up to with all those fellas you picked up in Jack's, eh Stevie?" And he held out his hand. 

"You mean... You want...?" Steve was gaping again, he realised, but all he'd ever allowed himself to hope was that he might get his friend back. He'd never dreamed he could have more than that, not after everything that had happened, but if Bucky wanted this too... 

"Always have." Bucky told him, pushing his hand closer to Steve until he finally reached out and took it. 

At the first brush of fingertips, he shuddered helplessly, his heart beginning to race in his chest. For just a moment they stared at each other, dumbfounded, and Steve knew Bucky had to be feeling it too, but then the other man was turning away, tugging him along by their joined hands as he made his way towards the door. 

"You should've said you were looking for a bit of rough, I could've given you that an hour ago." Someone leered as they passed and Steve vaguely recognised him as one of his more persistent admirers from earlier in the night. 

Only before he could say a word, Bucky had stopped dead, letting go of his hand in order to get right up in the guy's face. 

"Buck, come on, let's go." Steve tugged on his arm, belatedly realising it was the metal one when the other man didn't so much as budge. 

"Seriously?" The man smirked at him, either too drunk or too stupid to register the dark flash of danger in Bucky's eyes. "What's he got that I don't?"

"My heart." He retorted without even looking at the man, focusing on giving the metal another tug instead and almost losing his balance when Bucky abruptly turned to face him. 

For just a moment they stared at each other and it felt as though everything melted away; the bar, the asshole who'd waylaid them, even the years. For just a moment they were simply Steve and Bucky, the way they'd always been. 

"Take me home." Bucky demanded roughly and all he could do was nod, his hand remaining firm around the metal bicep as he tugged his friend away from the idiot in the bar and out into the crisp night air. 

As soon as they were outside, he dropped Bucky's arm, belatedly realising how possessive it seemed. If the other man minded one way or the other, however, he didn't say anything and they walked the first block or so in silence. 

"You know, I thought it was me that liked a bit of rough, not you." Bucky commented as they turned a corner, finally putting the bar behind them. 

"That's not really what he-" Steve started to explain before what his friend had said sunk in and he interrupted himself to ask, "You remember that?" 

"Honestly? I'm not sure _what_ I remember. It's still pretty jumbled." He shot Steve a look he couldn't quite decipher. "It's why I wasn't ready to come back yet." 

At that Steve stopped walking, his heart in his throat as he turned to give Bucky his full attention. "If you don't want to be here, I won't force you. You can leave if that's what you need." 

Bucky shook his head. "And break your heart in the process? I don't think so." 

"You can't just stay for me-" He started, but the other man cut him off. 

"Of course I can. I can stay for whatever damn reason I please, but if it makes you feel better, then no I'm not _just_ staying for you. I told you before, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away once I saw you again." He sighed deeply, running a hand through his too long hair. "Now you're here I don't even know how I managed to keep my distance as long as I did."

"So what _do_ you remember?" Steve pressed as they started walking again, wondering if it was the wrong way to ask, but not sure how else to broach the subject of their relationship. From what Bucky had already said, he had to remember some of it, at least, and he seemed to want to pick right back up where they'd left off, but if that wasn't _exactly_ what the other man wanted... 

"I remember our first time." Bucky offered. "It's one of the first memories I got back. Most of it's still pretty fuzzy and mixed up, but that one's been clear as day for as long as I've known who I am." 

"All the times we were together and that's the one that stuck?" Steve tried not to frown, but when the other man caught hold of his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, he figured he couldn't have been overly successful in that endeavour. 

"It's not the only thing I remember." His friend tried to reassure him, leaving his hand in place for a moment longer before pulling back. "I've got lots of bits and pieces, they just tend to get a little confused. I remember you loving me too; Remember the way you liked to take me apart so slow and tender that by the time you were done with me, all I could see or think or feel was you." 

"I always felt like I owed it to you, somehow." Steve confessed. "To make up for all the times I was rough with you." 

"But I _liked_ it that way. I'm sure I did." 

"Yeah, you liked it a whole lot. Used to beg me to hurt you, to bruise you." He shook his head. 

"Will you show me?" Bucky asked. "Take me home and show me all the things I used to like so much?" 

"I..." Steve started without any clear idea of what he wanted to say. 

"And you're bigger than me, even now." Bucky mused aloud, ignoring Steve's verbal stumbling. "Stronger, probably. You could hold me down properly. Fuck me hard enough to leave bruises that won't heal too fast." 

"Surely you can't want that?" Steve stared at him.

"You thought that back then too." Bucky pointed out. "But I wanted it then just as much as I want it now. I _want_ you to hurt me, Steve. Only a little," His friend assured him quickly, evidently responding to whatever twisted expression had just crossed his face, "But I want you to make me _feel_ it. Want you to make me feel good, just like you used to." 

Just like he used to. Fuck. Could he do that now? Of course he'd had an awful lot of time to think about things since he'd woken up in a new century where all this information was suddenly at his fingertips. It had been inevitable that he'd eventually give in to his curiosity and finding out that they weren't alone, that there were so many others like him and Bucky, had gone a long way to easing the weight that had dragged at his conscience for years. He'd also realised, after a _lot_ of self-reflection, that he'd blamed himself for what he'd perceived as Bucky's perversions. He'd thought that because of how rough he'd been, he'd somehow twisted the other man into something else, making him want something he'd never have even known about if Steve hadn't hurt him that first time. 

He knew better now and he'd spent an awful lot of time lamenting the fact that it was only once it was too late that he'd finally been able to see that it was ok for Bucky to want it that way. That it was equally ok for Steve to want to give it to him, just as long as they were in it together. And yet... It didn't make it any easier to process now, in light of everything his friend had been through. Because surely the other man had suffered enough pain to last multiple lifetimes... 

"I don't know if I can." He admitted, torn between promising Bucky anything he wanted and his need to protect and shelter his friend from any and all hurts. A need that had only got worse the longer he'd searched for him, the more he'd learned about the hell the other man had lived through for the past seventy years. 

"You can do anything, you always could." Bucky assured him. "Please, Stevie, for me?" He let his eyes go wide and earnest as he spoke and that was it for Steve. He'd never been able to deny the other man what he wanted, not really, and he sure as hell wasn't about to start now. 

"Alright." He conceded. "Anything you want." 

"That's my line." Bucky objected, but he was smiling, his pace picking up as if he was suddenly impatient to get where they were going. 

"Well I'm stealing it." Steve retorted, testing the waters a little by adding, "And I'll keep it from you by force if I have to." 

"Force, huh?" The other man glanced across at him, before his smile suddenly broadened into a brilliant grin. "So how far do you live from here?" 

"Ten more blocks that way." He nodded northwards as they reached an intersection. "Race you?" 

Bucky was running before Steve had even finished speaking, but just this once, he couldn't bring himself to mind, throwing himself forward and chasing his friend down the street. 

\---

When they crashed through the door of his apartment a short while later, they nearly pulled the thing off its hinges in their urgency. Bucky's lips were on his before they'd even got it closed behind them and Steve's arms were tight around his body, holding him so close he thought they might _both_ get bruises. 

"I want you so much." He muttered desperately when they finally parted for breath, his hands all but forcing their way into the other man's clothes. "Need you. Love you. Fuck, Bucky, I _need_... " 

"Yes." Bucky hissed back. "Come on Steve, take me." 

"Bedroom." He ordered, giving his friend a light shove. 

"Here." The other man contradicted, tugging Steve against him again. 

"I don't carry slick around any more and I _won't_ hurt you that badly." He objected. "Bedroom." He insisted again. "In there." 

Bucky glanced over his shoulder in the direction Steve indicated, as if judging the distance, before nodding sharply and marching across the floor, yanking off layers as he went. Startled by the sudden compliance, it took him a moment to pull himself back together and by the time he'd chased his friend into the bedroom, hastily stripping out of his own jacket and shirt, the other man's impatience had apparently peaked. When Steve stepped through the door only a few seconds later, it was to find Bucky already positioned on his hands and knees in the middle of the bed, completely bare, his naked ass pointed at Steve in the most enticing invitation he had ever received. 

"Fuck, _Bucky_." He groaned, quickly working his way out of the last of his own clothing as he hurried to his nightstand, fumbling through it until he found the bottle of lube buried at the back. 

"Come _on_ , Steve." Bucky whined, pushing his ass out. 

His only response was a breathy moan as he hastily slicked up a couple of fingers, before pressing one between Bucky's cheeks to touch his entrance. Only he should have known that wouldn't be enough and at the first hint of contact the other man shoved himself backwards, half impaling himself before Steve could react at all.

"More." Bucky insisted.

Dutifully he pushed deeper, but even that wasn't what his friend really wanted.

" _More_."

Pulling back a little, he added a second finger, this time not waiting at all before he thrust both of them into the other man as deep as he could reach.

"Yes. Come on. Now. Do it _now_." Bucky babbled, his tone turning increasingly frustrated as it became evident Steve wasn't listening to his demands. "Steve, I need you inside me right fucking now, so help me..."

"Ok, ok." He promised, allowing himself to spread his fingers one last time before pulling them out and hastily slicking his cock. "But promise me you'll stop me if it's too much."

"It won't be. Fuck me."

"Promise me." He repeated, even as he lined himself up with Bucky's barely stretched hole.

His only reply was a loud keen of pleasure or pain, it was hard to tell, as Bucky shoved backwards again, forcing Steve's cock into his own body without any hesitation.

"Oh _fuck_." He groaned, grabbing for the other man's hips just for something to hold on to. "You're so tight, fucking _hell_ , Buck."

"Fuck me. Do it. Don't wait till I'm ready, _please Steve_." His friend's voice trailed off into something that didn't sound too far off a sob and for just a fraction of a second he was frozen with indecision. He didn't want to hurt him, at least not in any tangible way, but he couldn't bear to withhold anything from the other man when he seemed to want it, to _need_ it so bad. 

As if there was any sort of decision to be made. With a shaky breath, he pulled out almost entirely before thrusting back into Bucky, hard. The noise that escaped the other man at that was almost a howl, but this time Steve didn't even hesitate as he repeated the movement again and then again. On his fourth thrust something seemed to break loose in his friend. His arms, metal and bone alike, collapsed under him and his torso tipped forward as he buried his face in the sheets beneath him, but at the same time he began to _talk_ and at that Steve couldn't have stopped for anything.

"Yes! Fuck _yes_ , Steve, please, fuck me, fuck me hard, make me take it. Please, Steve, _please_ please, fuck _,_ please _more.._."

" _Bucky_." He groaned, the name escaping him on a harsh breath as he gripped the other man tighter, dragging him back to meet his thrusts.

As he worked up to a near-inhuman rhythm, it vaguely occurred to him that this was the first time he'd really been able to let loose since before Bucky shipped out. Of course they'd been together plenty of times after their reunion on the front line, but even without Steve's chemically enhanced growth spurt holding him back, they could never have played during the war. Stealing moments in bombed out hotels, mere feet away from their sleeping comrades, was hardly conductive to a kinky sex life, especially when the cost of getting caught was so high. Now though... Steve had a soundproofed apartment, a sturdy bed frame and there wasn't even a law to get in their way. Besides, strong as he had become since those long ago days in Brooklyn, Bucky was no ordinary man now either. Whatever he dished out, he knew his friend could take it all and who was Steve to deny him that?

Not even trying to hold himself back now, he fucked the other man as hard as he could, driving into him again and again as he approached his own peak far too rapidly for his liking.

"You need me to touch you?" He panted roughly.

"No." Bucky grunted, his voice sounding like it had been punched out of him. "Make me come like this. Need it, Steve, _please_."

"I know you do. Need me so bad, don't you? Need what only _I_ can give you."

"Yes, _yes_! Only you, Steve. Only ever you."

"Come for me, Bucky. Come on my cock like you used to, _come on_." He could feel the tension in the man beneath him, could feel how close Bucky was and then he dug his fingers into the other man's hips and that was the last straw. 

" _Steve_!" Bucky wailed and then he was coming, spilling untouched all over the sheets beneath him and clenching down so hard on Steve's cock that there was nothing he could do but follow.

In the immediate aftermath neither of them moved, Steve lying half-slumped over Bucky's back as he caught his breath, but then his friend shivered slightly, a soft sound escaping him and his heart dropped like a stone as he realised Bucky was _crying_. He'd pulled out before he could think better of it and the whimper it caused only made him feel a hundred times worse, but there was nothing he could do about that now. Instead, he simply lay down beside the other man, gathering him up in his arms and holding him close.

"I'm so sorry, I-" He started, only for Bucky's tears to turn into almost violent sobs as he clutched at Steve's shoulders shaking his head.

"No, _no_. Don't be sorry, it was good, I wanted..." Bucky's voice choked off for a second before he managed to force out a few more words between his tears. "I missed you. I missed you so damn much, Stevie."

"It's ok, I'm here now, I'm here." He promised, his own eyes beginning to fill as he wondered how it was possible for his heart to just keep on breaking. "I missed you too. I love you, Bucky, I love you so much. So _much_."

"No, don't cry." Bucky murmured at him, his own tears slowing as he focused on Steve instead. "I love you too and I'm the one who should be sorry. I am, Stevie, I'm so _so_ sorry. I'm sorry I didn't come back before, sorry I ran from you-"

"You said it yourself." He interrupted, reassuring him almost automatically as he reached out to brush the tears from his friend's cheeks with his fingertips. "You needed time."

"I needed _you_." Bucky countered, leaning into the touch. "I always needed you, I just didn't remember how much _._ " 

"Then maybe it was better this way?" He suggested, voice going thick as a fresh wave of tears spilled from the other man's eyes to flow over his fingers. "Better for you to find your way back to me on your own?" 

"I shouldn't have waited so long." Bucky argued. "I should have been here as soon as I remembered what we were to each other. Soon as I realised that you needed me too. You _needed_ me and I wasn't _here._ " 

"It doesn't matter anymore, you're here now and _that's_ what matters. It's _all_ that matters, Buck." 

"I'm here." Bucky repeated slowly, before suddenly catching Steve's face between his hands, his expression turning fierce. "I'm _here_. And I am _never_ gonna leave you again. _Never_ , Steve." 

"I know." He promised, tugging the other man closer until he was all but engulfed in Steve's arms, his tearstained face pressed tight against his chest. "And now I've got you back _I'm_ never gonna let you go." 

"Yeah." Bucky agreed, his voice so soft and vulnerable that it made Steve's heart ache. "Never let me go." 

" _Never_." He swore, hugging the other man as hard as he could. "Never again." 

**Author's Note:**

> Post-serum Steve is incapable of getting sick, so is post-Hydra Bucky, ergo, they both know it's 100% safe for them to have sex without a condom. If you are not a genetically enhanced supersoldier, please remember to be safe.


End file.
